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Side Effects May Include…

Whether it’s voluntary or involuntary, change is inevitable.

One major side effect of marriage is change; whether it’s voluntary or involuntary, change is inevitable. My core values and witty charm are still intact and unfortunately for Stephen I will probably NEVER be a morning person like him. However, I’ve altered the way I eat, sleep, shop, drive, and even the way I treat others since we’ve been married. It wasn’t a conscious effort; it was a slow, subtle progression. I’m not sure if Stephen set out to make our shopping trips shorter, (actually, now that I think about it more that was probably intentional) but I know there are more than a few things he might have wanted to change about me. I definitely had some ideas of how he could…improve.

After infatuation subsides, it’s hard to ignore your partner’s quirks and habits that aren’t as endearing as when you first met. Some people start relationships with the sole mission of changing their partner and molding him or her to “perfection”. They fall in love with the idea of someone rather than who they actually are. Be cautious of this, and know that blame and criticism (aka nagging) will more than likely lead to resentment. You can, however, help your partner to become more self-aware, try new things, or grow closer to God. A gentle nudge in the right directions can be all it takes, or sometimes the measures need to be more drastic. Keep in mind that we can’t make someone alter their life, and to expect someone to change is setting you both up for disappointment. No matter what, a change is gonna come, and it’s up to each of you whether the transformation is for the better or worse.


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