Free yourself from the need to be anyone other than who you are.
According to Darwin, only the most fit survive; but what qualifies someone as the “fittest”. Is it their level of education, socioeconomic status, or overall stability? We have a natural human instinct to survive, and for some this means they must compete. They have to prove that they are the most informed, most qualified and most successful in the room. They want everyone to know that they’re thriving, not just surviving.
We’ve all encountered these people, or we have become the person that needs to prove ourselves. We might make most activities or conversations a competition, and possibly exaggerate our circumstances to look better…to feel better. We make it our mission to ensure that no one thinks we have struggles. This is especially apparent on social media where we post our highlight reel, #livingmybestlife. Even when someone attempts to be transparent, they seem to be posed, still giving an edited version of their problem.
It's not necessary to share all of our issues with other people, just as it’s not necessary to make our lives seem bigger or better than other people. We don’t need to compete with our family and friends, and we don’t need to shut them out. There must be a balance of sharing, giving, and receiving *respectful, helpful feedback. If you’re spending time with people that you can’t be genuine with, you could benefit from understanding why that is. Maybe you feel inferior and insecure. You’ve decided that they won’t accept the real you, so you wear a façade.
One of the greatest factors that aids in our survival isn’t money or material items, although these things certainly help. We’re most happy when we have successful, healthy relationships. We’re born with the need for attachment and bonding with others is critical for our survival. Ironically, when we try to build connections without being genuine, we usually end up pushing the people we need away. When we try to make our lives seem bigger than what’s actually happening, we isolate ourselves from the community that will help us to truly thrive.
Free yourself from the need to be anyone other than who you are. Take inventory of your relationships and decide who to build with, and who you might need to let go of. Take inventory of your thoughts and actions and make sure they align with your values. Honestly consider if your words are bringing you closer to others or pushing them away. Remember, it takes strength to be vulnerable. And as always, lead with love.